The Absolute Truths

There are no eternal facts, as there are no absolute truths.
- Friedrich Nietzsche: Human, All-too-Human

Though not eternal, we hold these truths to be self-evident:

  1. Ellen knows everything.
  2. Larry is always right.
  3. Cheryl makes the rules.
  4. It's Jon's fault.
  5. Dan is an expert in that.
  6. You can't tell my father anything.

If in logical peril, invocation of any of these Absolute Truths™ will trump your opponent's flimsy logic and allow you to win the day.